He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
I woke up to three texts telling me to "go fuck myself," a panicked voicemail from my mom, and a girl thanking me... I'm not sure which I should take care of first
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
The shit I just took was my body's way of telling me bourbon and mixed nuts aren't an appropriate dinner. Well played, colon. WELL. PLAYED.
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
Randomize
