Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
I woke up this morning to my panties draped around the neck of an empty bottle of bulleit. That is the perfect visual metaphor for my life at this juncture.
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
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