I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
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