Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
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