I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
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