i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
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