And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
So I was throwing up in this fancy toilet at a party last night, when he decided it would be funny to flush it. It was a beday. I had to walk out with toilet water and regurgitated rumpleminze all over my face and shirt.
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
Randomize
