I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
Judging by the garbled spelling in the calendar reminders in my phone, drunk me really wanted sober me to take a pregnancy test today.
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
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