dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
Randomize
