ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
Randomize
