is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
Randomize
