The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
Don't talk to me about lonely until you're eating marshmallows for dinner in your underwear watching House of Cards for 12 hours straight. I hate all you couples
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
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