better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
Randomize
