ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
Randomize
