Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
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