Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
i may or may not be watching the land before time
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
Randomize
