Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
You drew a lightning bolt on your eye and stomach in eye liner and made me sing Poker face with you in harmonies. I never knew you were still a music major when you were drunk.
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
Randomize
