So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
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