Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
Randomize
