So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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