hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
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