Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
two words...techno handjob
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
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