i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
