i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
Randomize
