apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
Randomize