there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
Randomize
