everytime i eat a fruit i feel like i'm eating ovaries
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
How many fucks given?
0.12846
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
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