I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
Randomize
