Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
So I just opened the bag you gave me and those panties aren't mine...
oh
I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
Randomize
