its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
Randomize
