What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
Randomize
