went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
Randomize
