Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
Randomize
