is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
I'm not going to waste the next hour of my life writing a diplomatic email explaining that she's bitch. I have Parks and Rec to watch.
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
Randomize
