1:32 am: your girlfriend looks like a man
1:48 am: your uglier
Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
You are a super loving wife. But did you, at any point since Thanksgiving, slip me half your bottle of stool softeners?
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Randomize
