woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
Don't worry, your car is safe with me. I am throwing watermelons out of it at mailboxes and hipster kids.
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
I yelled at your uterus for you.
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