What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
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