the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
