My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
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