If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
You were right. It hurts to walk today.
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
Randomize
