brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
I think I've given more of my business cards to Chipotle trying to win free burritos than anyone else
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
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