Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
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