That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
Randomize