Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize
