Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
Randomize
