I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
Randomize
