I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
Randomize