You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
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