Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
It was a blind-side dick pic.
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
Randomize
