why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
Oh. Im drinking alone in a banana costume. Every time youre feeling down, i want you to think of me right now and know that your life is better than mine.
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
So I have to send you an email about my weekend, heretofore referred to as The Perfect Weekend. Wherein I have lots of awesome sex with a guy with THE MOST AMAZING BODY.
I look forward to this email. I will respond with, Condoms and Creepers: The Adventures of Online Dating.
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
Randomize
