the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
If you're receiving this text it's probably because I drunkenly flashed you on Saturday. Sorry for forcing you to look at my tits. That was uncalled for.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
I forget how to act sober
Randomize