; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
Randomize
