I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
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