Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
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