i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
My friends, they love my intelligence
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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