my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
YAS. BRING CRAB.
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
Randomize
