So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
Randomize
