Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
Randomize
