her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
he laminated a picture of his dick.
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
Randomize
