Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
My legs feel like baby dolphins
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
Randomize
