I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
Just pee around me
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
Randomize
