is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
Randomize
