feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
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