I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
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