In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
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