Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
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