I'm so tired of dating women who lie about their age. You show up feeling like you need to follow them around with a dust pan and a broom.
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize
